Cindy is the life of the party, she jokes, she appears as the loving friend and knows how to have a good time. Most days, her friends love her energy but often when they meet, Cindy steers the conversation to existentialism and the idea of killing or harming oneself.
She asks her friends, “You all don’t think about it often? I mean what if I or you no longer exist? It’s hard for this not to cross my mind… This world is just so much to deal with.”
The silence among her friends is deafening. Someone chimes in, “Could you stop creeping us out?” and switches the topic. Cindy becomes reserved and distracted, avoiding further interaction with the group.
Later on, another friend Penelope, deeply disturbed by Cindy’s references, reaches out. Cindy admits having suicidal ideations for a long time.
According to the World Health Organisation close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year.
For every suicide there are many more people who attempt suicide every year. A prior suicide attempt is the single most important risk factor for suicide in the general population.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15-19-year-olds with 79% of global suicides occur in low- and middle-income countries.
Cindy never revealed her deep-seated pain to her friends and perhaps many of them believed she would be the last person to take her own life.
In the Caribbean and even globally there are a lot of common misconceptions about suicide. Help Guide’s discussion lists a few https://www.helpguide.org/:
Myth: People who talk about suicide won’t really do it.
Fact: Almost everyone who attempts suicide has given some clue or warning. Don’t ignore even indirect references to death or suicide. Statements like “You’ll be sorry when I’m gone,” “I can’t see any way out,”—no matter how casually or jokingly said—may indicate serious suicidal feelings.
Myth: Anyone who tries to kill themselves must be crazy.
Fact: Most suicidal people are not psychotic or insane. They are upset, grief-stricken, depressed or despairing, but extreme distress and emotional pain are not necessarily signs of mental illness.
Myth: If someone is determined to kill themselves, nothing is going to stop them.
Fact: Even a very severely depressed person has mixed feelings about death, fluctuating between wanting to live and wanting to die. Rather than wanting death, they just want the pain to stop—and the impulse to end their life does not last forever.
Penelope’s choice to reach out to her friend was a great first step. We felt Help Guide also mentions some great tips. See below:
If you spot the warning signs of suicide in someone you care about, you may wonder if it’s a good idea to say anything. What if you’re wrong? What if the person gets angry? In such situations, it’s natural to feel uncomfortable or afraid. But anyone who talks about suicide or shows other warning signs needs immediate help—the sooner the better.
Talking to a friend or family member about their suicidal thoughts and feelings can be extremely difficult for anyone. But if you’re unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask. You can’t make a person suicidal by showing that you care. In fact, giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness and pent-up negative feelings, and may prevent a suicide attempt.
If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it’s important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and an INTENTION to do it.
Level of Suicide Risk
Low – Some suicidal thoughts. No suicide plan. Says he or she won’t attempt suicide.
Moderate – Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan that isn’t very lethal. Says he or she won’t attempt suicide.
High – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she won’t attempt suicide.
Severe – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she will attempt suicide.
If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it’s important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and an INTENTION to do it.
Resources
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the 24 hour Lifeline Hotline at 645-2800 or the Alive (suicide hotline) at 688-8525 or 650-5270. In addition, you can also contact a licensed psychologist or mental health clinician for help.
